Martha vs. Maxine

Martha vs Maxine

*Martha's Way*
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice
cream drips.

*Maxine's Way *
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake!
You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

*Martha's Way*
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the
potatoes.

*Maxine's Way *
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

*Martha's Way*
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry
cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the
cake.

*Maxine's Way *
Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

*Martha's Way*
If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a
peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant
fix-me-up.

*Maxine's Way *
"If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please
recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't
care how bad it tastes!"

*Martha's Way*
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will
keep for weeks.

*Maxine's Way *
Celery? Never heard of it!

*Martha's Way*
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a
beautiful glossy finish.

*Maxine's Way *
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites
over the crust so I don't.

*Martha's Way*
Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your
forehead.The throbbing will go away.

*Maxine's Way *
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

*Martha's Way*
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves.
They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

*Maxine's Way *
Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

*Martha's Way*
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future
use in casseroles and sauces.

*Maxine's Way *
Leftover wine??????????? HELLO !!!!!!!

What Does Love Mean - From a Kid's Perspective

A group of professional people posted this question to

a group of 4 to 8 year olds.  "What does love mean?"

The answers they got were broader and deeper than

anyone could have imagined.

 

**********

When my grandma got arthritis, she couldn't bend over

and paint her toenails anymore.  So my grandpa does it

for her now all the time, even when his hands got

arthritis too.  That's love.

 

Rebecca- age 8

************

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is

different.  You just know that your name is safe in

their mouths.

 

Billy- age 4

************

Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on

shaving Cologne and they go out and smell each other.

 

Kari- age 5

************

Love is when you go out to eat and giv!  e somebo dy

most of your French Fries without making them give you

any of theirs.

 

Chrissy- age 6

************

Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.

 

Terri- age 4

************

 

Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she

takes a sip giving it to him, to make sure the taste is

OK.

 

Danny- age 7

************

Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you

stop opening presents and listen.

 

Bobby- age 7 (wow!)

 

************

If you want to learn to love better, you should start

with a friend who you hate.

 

Nikka- age 6

************

 

Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he

wears it everyday.

 

Noelle- age 7

************

!  >> ; > Love is like a little old woman and a little

old man who are still friends even after they know each

other so well.

 

Tommy- age 6

************

 

During my piano recital, I was on stage and I was

scared.  I looked at all the people watching me and saw

my daddy waving and smiling.  He was the only one doing

that.  I wasn't scared anymore.

 

Cindy- age 8

************

 

My mommy loves me more than anybody.  You don't see

anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.

 

Clare- age 6

************

 

Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of

chicken.

 

Elaine- age 5

************

 

Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and

still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.

 

Chris- age 7

************

!  >> ; >> > Love is when your puppy licks your face

even after you left him alone all day.

 

Mary Ann- age 4

************

 

When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down

and little stars come out of you.

 

-Karen- age 7

************

 

You really shouldn't say "I LOVE YOU" unless you mean

it.  But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.

People forget.

 

Jessica- age 8

************

 

And the winner was a 4 year old child whose next door

neighbor was an elderly man who had just lost his wife.

 When the child saw the man cry, the little boy went

over into the man's yard and climbed on top of the

man's lap and just sat there.  When the boy's mother

asked him what he'd said to the neighbor, the little

boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

Todays Newsy Tidbits

Todays News:

Johnny Carson dead at age 79. This is a good review of his life. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6504445/

Abortion Foes Get Call From Bush http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/01/24/politics/main668819.shtml

Pittsburgh Loses to New England (Such a sad day for me) http://sports.myway.com/news/01242005/v7021.html

January 24th is the Worst Day of the Year. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6847012/

Repeal of Law on Slander Against Women http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=816&e=6&u=/ap/20050124/ap_on_re_us/slander_of_women

Too Many text messages bad for you http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=583&e=2&u=/nm/20050124/od_nm/odd_italy_sms_dc

Fake Yahoo Baby Name http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=4&u=/nm/20050124/od_nm/romania_yahoo_dc

U2 is going on tour! http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=795&ncid=762&e=7&u=/eo/20050124/en_music_eo/15760

Fibromyalgia

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia 9 years ago. This letter will help those of you who know me, understand what I got through every day. I got it off the fibrohugs website.

The Letter To Normals

Hello Family, Friends, and Anyone Wishing to Know Me,

Allow me to begin by thanking you for taking the time out of your day to spend some time with me and get to know me better. A person’s time is their most valuable asset and yours is appreciated. I want to talk to you about Fibromyalgia (FM) and Chronic Myofascial Pain Syndrome (MPS). Many have never heard of these onditions and for those who have, many are misinformed. And because of this judgments are made that may not be orrect… So I ask you to keep an open mind as I try to explain who I am and how FM/MPS has assaulted not only my life but those whom I love as well. You see, I suffer from a disease that you cannot see; a disease that there is no cure for and that keeps the medical community baffled at how to treat and battle this demon, who’s attacks are relentless. My pain works silently, stealing my joy and replacing it with tears. On the outside we look alike you and I; you wont see my scars as you would a person who, say, had suffered a car accident. You wont see my pain in the way you would a person undergoing chemo for cancer; however, my pain is just as real and just as debilitating. And in many ways my pain may be more destructive because people can’t see it and do not understand.... Please don’t get angry at my seemingly lack of interest in doing things; I punish myself enough I assure you. My tears are shed many times when no one is around. My embarrassment is covered by a joke or laughter, but inside I want to die.... Most of my "friends" are gone; even members of my own family have abandoned me. I have been accused of "playing games" for another’s sympathy. I have been called unreliable because I am forced to cancel plans I made at the last minute because the burning and pain in my legs or arms is so intense I cannot put my clothes on and I am left in my tears as I miss out on yet another activity I used to love and once participated in with enthusiasm. I feel like a child at times... Just the other day I put the sour cream I bought at the store in the pantry, on the shelf, instead of in the refrigerator; by the time I noticed it, it had spoiled. When I talk to people, many times I lose my train of thought in mid sentence or forget the simplest word needed to explain or describe something. Please try to understand how it feels to have another go behind me in my home to make sure the stove is off after I cook an occasional meal. Please try to understand how it feels to “lose” the laundry, only to find it in the stove instead of the dryer. As I try to maintain mydignity the Demon assaults me at every turn. Please try to understand…. Sleep, when I do get some, is restless and I wake often because of the pain the sheets have on my legs or because I twitch uncontrollably. I walk through many of my days in a daze with the Fibro-fog laughing at me as I stumble and grasp for clarity. And just because I can do a thing one day, that doesn’t mean I will be able to do the same thing the next day or next week. I may be able to take that walk after dinner on a warm July evening; the next day or even the in the next hour I may not be able to walk to the fridge to get a cold drink because my muscles have begun to cramp and lock up or spasm uncontrollably. And there are those who say “but you did that yesterday!” “What is your problem today?” The hurt I experience at those words scars me so deeply that I have let my family down again; and still they don’t understand…. On a brighter side I want you to know that I still have my sense of humor. If you take the time to spend with me you will see that. I love to tell that joke to make another’s face light up and smile at my wit. I love my kids and grandbabies and shine when they give me my hugs or ask me to fix their favorite toy. I am fun to be with if you will spend the time with me on my own playing field; is this too much to ask? I love you and want nothing more than to be a part of your life. And I have found that I can be a strong friend in many ways. Do you have a dream? I am your friend, your supporter and many times I will be the one to do the research for your latest project; many times I will be your biggest fan and the world will know how proud I am at your accomplishments and how honored I am to have you in my life. So you see, you and I are not that much different. I too have hopes, dreams, goals… and this demon…. Do you have an unseen demon that assaults you and no one else can see? Have you had to fight a fight that crushes you and brings you to your knees? I will be by your side, win or lose, I promise you that; I will be there in ways that I can. I will give all I can as I can, I promise you that. But I have to do this thing my way. Please understand that I am in such a fight myself and I know that I have little hope of a cure or effective treatments, at least right now. Please understand…. Thank you for spending your time with me today. I hope we can work through this thing, you and I. Please understand that I am just like you… Please understand….

Copyright of www.fibrohugs.com Written by Ronald J. Waller