Work Blues

I am trying to figure out why I am putting myself through the torture of keeping my job. (I do remember when my job was fun and I liked it.. it was not that long ago either) It was the LONGEST day in hostory for me and was actually boring. Then about 45 minutes before I left, my boss decided to chat with me about an internal job I was applying for with the main company. He says the DM does not want anyone to apply unless they are already management and can prove they can handle many large size stores. Almost sounds like he wants this job.. The dm that is... It fucking sucks... because the job is so perfect for me. I am on committee for several conventions around the country and know how to run events from the ground up. That is what the job would be but for 14 stores. Not that difficult considering the size of the conventions I work with. I just want to throttle someone. I am smacked down before I can even apply for the damn job. I swear the GM does not like anyone to be happy. Another supervisor and myself wanted to switch positions because niether one of us wanted the one we were given. I wanted his and he wanted mine. The GM said NO. He wanted us to excel at our current jobs. Both of us have been doing it for over a year. If we had not excelled in that time frame, it was not going to happen. We were not happy in the positions. He stepped down as supervisor and so did another one. Do they really think the 2nd one was because of the reasons given?? Puleeeze.. If they believe that, I got a bridge to Hawaii for them....both of them are much happier without the crap. If I step down I lose a lot of money.. I need another job before I do that. I feel like I am in a Catch-22 situation. Depression is constant now. It scared me but a fleeting thought of doing something stupid came to mind on the way home today and I could not believe I was that totally depressed. It is not a good sign. Time to find a good therapist again... This is why I quit being a paralegal. All the stupid things people argue about when they get a divorce. Just get the damn divorce. Nothing is worth the fight that goes on. But I digress.... Oh.. and the GM told me that I had to be trained to do my job. Like the previous trainer and another manager did not do their job. Oh.. but he said that was not what he meant. That is what he said. He just does not get it. His people skills suck and then he expects us to believe what he says. That man can not make any decisions. You ask him a question and he beats around the bush and sidesteps the issue and question.. Hmmmmm wonder if he voted for Bush.. they are two peas in a pod. The mouth moves but nothing comes out that makes sense.

It was good to seexellinus today. He stopped by work for a visit. That was the highlight of my day actually.