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Dear Tide Detergent Company:
I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it since
the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best. Now that I am older and going through
menopause, I find it even better! In
fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to
berate me about how clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the
neck. One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my
white blouse. I tried to get the stain
out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I
purchased a bottle of Liquid Tide with Bleach Alternative, and to my surprise
and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well, that
when the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my
blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I would no longer
be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.
What a relief. I thank you, once
again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go, I have to write a letter to
the Hefty bag people...
Signed,
A relieved menopausal wife