Kids always speak the truth

President George W. Bush was visiting a primary school

class, where the students were in the middle of a
discussion related to words and their meanings. The
teacher asked the President if he would like to lead
the discussion on the word "tragedy".

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best
friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field
and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would
be a tragedy." "No," said Bush, "that would be an
accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus
carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing
everyone inside, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid
not," explained the president. "That's what we would
call a great loss."

The room went silent. No other children volunteered.

Bush searched the room "Isn't there someone here who
can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room a small boy raised his
hand. In a quiet voice he said: "If Air Force One
carrying you and Mrs. Bush was struck by a "friendly
fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a
tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can
you tell me why that would be tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy, "It has to be a tragedy, because
it certainly wouldn't be a great loss! and it probably
wouldn't be an accident either.

Menopause and Tide

 

Dear Tide Detergent Company:

 

I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it since
the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best.  Now that I am older and going through
menopause, I find it even better!  In
fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.  My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to
berate me about how clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the
neck. One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my
white blouse.  I tried to get the stain
out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out.  After a quick trip to the supermarket, I
purchased a bottle of Liquid Tide with Bleach Alternative, and to my surprise
and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!  In fact, the stains came out so well, that
when the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my
blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I would no longer
be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

 

What a relief.  I thank you, once
again, for having such a great product.  Well, gotta go, I have to write a letter to
the Hefty bag people...

 

Signed,

A relieved menopausal wife