Reasons why Trick-or-Treating is Better than Sex

10) You're guaranteed to get a little something in the sack.

9) If you're tired, wait 10 mins then go at it again!

8) The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7) You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some!

6) It's OK when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else.... because you are!

5) Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.

4) If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.

3) It doesnt matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2) Less guilt the morning after.

AND.......the number one reason.............

1) YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Top 10 Signs You Are Too Old To Trick or Treat

10. You get winded from knocking on the door

9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you

8. You ask for high fiber candy only

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.

6, People say, "Great Boris Karloff Mask." and you're not even wearing a mask.

5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or....." and can't remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.

2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

1. You keep having to go home to pee.

Bank of Canada

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning, with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank, because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office. The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, "$165,000." The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets. The president was surprised and asked, "What kind of bets?" The elderly woman replied, "Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square." The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that. The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, "Would you like to take my bet?" "Certainly," replied the president. "I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square." "Done," the elderly woman answered. "But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind, I would like to come back at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning, with my lawyer as a witness." "No problem," said the president of the Bank confidently. That night, the president became very nervous about the bet, and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square, and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet. The next morning, at exactly 10 o'clock, the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer, and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square. The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. That way she and her lawyer could see clearly. The president was happy to oblige. The elderly woman came closer so she could see better, and asked the president if she could touch them. "Of course," said the President. "Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure." The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the President noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that. She replied, "Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000.00 that, around 10 o'clock in the morning, I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada!"

Only in Texas

GOOD

A Richardson, Texas policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but
wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem -- a 12 year old boy was
standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD".
The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading
"TIPS" and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)
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BETTER


A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated
radar post in Plano, Texas. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute,
he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with
another mailed photo of handcuffs.

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BEST


A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the TX State Trooper
walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet
you are going to sell me a ticket to the Texas State Police Ball." He
replied, "Texas State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of
silence while she smiled and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed
his book, got back in his patrol car and left. She was laughing too hard to
start her car

Truths

( Read more... )

1st night website

http://camarilla.white-wolf.com/conventions/events/first_night.html


Remember:

FRIDAY NIGHT IS BLACK AND WHITE - You MUST wear Black or White or Black and White
SATURDAY NIGHT IS EXPLOSION OF COLOR - make it colorful!!

Remember that I am looking for Security and Medical folks for this con!